Recent finds in my teenager’s bedroom.

A fossilised nectarine stone in a pillowcase when changing the bed.
About three weeks worth of worn underwear behind the bed headboard.
Plastic bags containing plastic bags containing plastic sandwich wrappers containing mouldy sandwich remains
All my pint glasses
The walking boots that were “lost” (under a pile of dirty washing) necessitating an emergency purchase of a new pair the day before a school expedition
Endless receipts for heaven knows what.
Rizla papers and a lighter in unwashed jeans pockets (NO! I don’t smoke mummy!)
All the recently, lovingly washed and folded clothes stuffed in various corners.
At least 5 dressing gowns draped artfully on various bits of furniture/doors/people
The entire contents of my towel cupboard, mouldering wetly in a pile on the floor.
Anything of mine that has gone missing.
A good number of cereal bowls containing small pools of melted Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.
An empty waste paper bin surrounded by rubbish.
A snoring, unresponsive occupant.