More Facebook memories – this was written shortly before my beloved crap heap had its inevitable terminal event. Newer car currently about halfway to this state and dogs now = 4, one of which tries to dig a hole in the boot carpet whenever she is particularly wet and muddy.

As we live in the sticks down a bumpy and potholed country lane, I generally drive 25,000 miles a year and I regularly carry 3 honking and muddy dogs in the back, we normally buy a second hand, cheap to maintain Estate, never bother to wash it and I drive it till it falls apart.

I have just taken stock of my current wheels:

196000 miles on the clock.

Probably still silver but difficult to tell.

Rear windscreen opaque because wiper stopped working a couple of months ago and no functioning washers.

Front windscreen washers driven by the rear washer control after a bit of imaginative rewiring by the marvellous Ronnie to avoid having to install a new front washer motor.

Engine light permanently on after the EGR valve had to be blocked off (Ronnie again) because the onboard computer wouldn’t recognise it.

Passenger door needs a hefty yank to open it.

Clutch makes a disappointed sighing noise when depressed.

Exhaust rattles and has sprung a small leak so sounds like a motor cross bike.

Front spoiler missing due to some unauthorised off road driving by husband.

Large, pheasant shaped, dent in radiator grill.

Interesting squeaking sound coming from rear offside wheel solved by turning up radio.

Rear number plate flapping.

Interior (frankly) minging.

Och. Still a few miles in her yet.