Imagined Saturday morning:

Wake refreshed, make cup of tea, do yoga, meditate, feel mellow enough to face the day’s jobs with tranquility.

Real morning :

Wake in a hot sweat due to failure to turn down heating in bedroom combined with menopausal bollocks.

Go downstairs in yoga gear to make tea to be faced with huge piles of washing all over kitchen/laundry room which need folding/taking out of machine/putting in dryer/sorting. See dishwasher needs emptying but surfaces need clearing and stuff put in cupboards first. Do all that then let dogs out in garden and poo pick lawn, let out and feed hens, collect eggs, answer texts from still absent husband about small jobs required, strip and change bed, find bleached stain on wooden drawing room floor so apply wood treatment, get distracted by Facebook and emails, drink tea.

Have been up for two hours now.

Does simply wearing my yoga gear count?