Sitting eating a substandard breakfast in an unsatisfactory hotel before a meeting. An optimistic young thing opposite is wearing a brightly coloured T-shirt declaring:

“HOPE!”

On days like this when my menopausal body (trousers mysteriously way too tight) and brain (lost my phone in the small confines of my hotel room and eventually found it under my wash bag) are conspiring against me and there are persistent demands on my time and good will (random WhatsApp messages about household irrelevances from home) I think I will design the perfect T-shirt for the middle aged grouch:

“NOPE!”